


Malady

by NoCommentHere



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: I've decided to continue this yes, Jack has a kid, M/M, PTSD, Post-Island, it will not be very long though, like real grown-ups, much angst, ralph feels shock and fear but also some sort of morbid attraction, ralph is a teacher to his kid, they meet again, they're full ass grown ups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:04:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7621276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoCommentHere/pseuds/NoCommentHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years later, as a teacher, Ralph feels Jack Merridew’s presence for the second time in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was Ralph’s third year of teaching. He realized at that dull point in his life that he started loving the profession more and more. It brought colour and meaning into his existence, it pulled him out of the agonizing monotony that consumed his days.

He liked spending time in children’s company and sharing his knowledge. He especially wanted to educate them into becoming better people.  Into respectful, kind and decent fellows who would in turn teach their children to be like them, when they would grow up. He wanted to spread this ideal to as many people as possible.          

He didn’t want history to repeat itself.              

As the fair-haired man waited for the classroom to fill for the first day of school and meet his new pupils, his attention was particularly drawn to one child that positioned himself in the first row. He was particularly taller than the others, quite lanky and thin, his hair was of a bright red color and his eyes were too icy and almost inappropriately sharp for a six year old.  

He was a painful reminder of a certain someone from Ralph’s childhood and the man could barely bear looking at him, but he knew he was acting childishly. It was ridiculous, what was in the past remained in the past and he didn’t want to treat the poor child differently just because it struck a chord in the fair-haired man’s heart. 

He tried to ignore the situation and analyze other students too, to imprint the new faces into his memory, like he had done until then, but his eyes always returned to the red-haired boy. He was talking to another brunette pupil who cowered in his seat, as if he was intimidated by the red boy. Ralph tried not to pay attention to the conversation, but his ears caught words against his will. 

“Well, my mum didn’t like the car my dad bought, so they had a fight about it. I always found their fights amusing. Dad was getting all red in the face and smashed his fist on the table, while mum always held a straight face. I don’t know how she could keep a straight face around dad. His jokes were always so funny, although I think he was too wicked at times. Anyways, I forgot to tell you about my dad’s car. He had an Austin, right? But he didn’t like it anymore, it was too old. And then he bought the Somerset. That car’s wizard. And I think I’ll drive it soon too.” 

Ralph almost wanted to smile at the ridiculous amount of words the boy could spill in a few seconds. He was literally a motor mouth, which was why the other, smaller boy was probably so intimidated by him, especially since he didn’t seem to have much social experience, compared to the redheaded boy. And as if this wasn’t enough, the red boy also seemed to have a certain cold arrogance in his way of speaking, which made the other boy shrink away even more.  

Ralph never stopped the children from being the way they were. He let them be timid, if they were timid. He let them be arrogant, if they were arrogant. He wanted to let them discover their own faults by themselves, rather than imposing them certain rules. Of course, if their mistakes were too great, he would interfere to a certain extent, but he wanted to accord them freedom for the most part. 

“-anyways, I think that’s why they separated. Because dad had too many obsessions. Like the obsession with cars? Or the one with always eating meat for dinner. And then mum said, we had to eat vegetables too because they are healthy, but dad was all no. And they fought about this too.  I agree with dad though. Meat is really good. My grandpa showed me that pig he’s going to slaughter for Christmas, and I asked him to let me cut his throat. And he said he’ll do it. It will be wacco.”

As the boy kept talking, the serenity on the fair haired man’s face gradually morphed into shock, at the painfully familiar words.  It couldn’t have been. It just couldn’t have. That man didn’t live in his area and this wasn’t his child. _It had to be a coincidence._ A great one, but just a coincidence.

No matter how much Ralph tried to deny it, the resemblance was too uncanny to be  _just_ a coincidence.  

As the fair man tried to calm himself and waited for the whole class to settle down, he opened the class book and started reading their names in alphabetical order. He felt drops of sweat streaming down his temple, a wave of pure anxiety hitting him, his hands almost tremulous on the piece of carton.

 _Get a hold of yourself._ Ralph reprimanded himself for the umpteenth time, as he continued reading the names and severely trying to learn the faces. _He’s just a child._

 _Yes._ His mind replied with sharp bitterness. _But his father is not. He’s as real and as close as he can get. Now more than ever._

The clarity of his mind faded in the moment the fair haired man reached the page with the respective name. He had expected it, despite that he had still had the vague hope deep down, that it wouldn't be true.  He stared at the white paper, all pallid, pale green eyes frozen on blue ink. Then he lifted his gaze.

“Merridew, David.”

The red boy offered him a defiant smile and Ralph could almost see the red and black lines on his cheeks, the fire in his eyes, the sharp teeth that mocked him, the spear in his hand, and he could swear that after sixteen years, the devil had appeared in front of him for the second time.   


	2. Chapter 2

The boy was smart and Ralph hadn’t expected any less.

He was overly ambitious, he continuously sought to reach the top, and he easily surpassed everyone in results. In the course of a few days, Ralph quickly made a difference between the pupils. The Merridew boy always had his hand up in the air, his answers were almost always correct and his dedication to scholarly activities was astounding. Apart from the fact that he intimidated his peers into letting him lead all the group projects, he also took over tasks that weren’t assigned to him.

Ralph himself admitted that he was both moderately intimidated and impressed by him. Though the fair-haired man was mostly intimidated by his appearance that still bothered him to a great extent, he was also struck by his bold and unabashed attitude to everything that concerned him - not only he was the spitting image of his father, but he also had most of his father’s mannerisms.

After a while, Ralph started remarking slight differences though. He couldn’t believe he had to bring himself to even think that person’s name after so much time, but he had to ponder over how Jack Merridew had been an arrogant prick who enjoyed bullying and walking all over his peers, while this boy shared the same arrogance, but wasn’t nearly as ruthless and uncaring with his colleagues.

Ralph observed a slight inclination towards a low-level altruism – David still talked to them in a scornful fashion, but his mockeries were most of the time light-hearted and even downright friendly. There wasn’t any viciousness present, there wasn’t any real malice there. Of course, other boys occasionally burst into tears, since they couldn’t understand this boy’s taunts, and so confusions issued on many occasions.

Still, the boy didn’t comprehend the fact that his words were still too sharp for such a young one, and Ralph himself didn’t like that the headmaster had brought to his attention that he had to tame down the boy, due to some complaints that had arisen from some of the parents. He didn’t like changing the boy, he believed that the sharpness of his mind was one of his greatest attributes.

Ralph grasped at his courage in spite of this, and finally found the will to personally talk to him, one day. While he had expected David to protest and take his own defense out of pride and ill temper, the boy just obediently listened to what Ralph had to say and politely nodded at the end of his short discourse.

“I completely understand, sir, I was perhaps a bit over the edge.” The boy smiled and maturely apologized.

The fair-haired man couldn’t believe how sensibly he behaved. He silently thanked whatever power guided over him, that it had all quickly ended well and without complications.

Except that he had been deceived.

While he believed the boy was also quite compliant and dutiful, he was proved wrong. Because after not much time, he suddenly found one of the smaller boys running into the halls, wailing and yelling, snot and tears trailing down his blotched face.

“H-he l-left a d-dead a-animal i-in my r-room!” The small boy hiccupped and Ralph had to calm the little one down for a couple of hours. These news reached the headmaster’s ears of course, and Ralph was summoned into his office and reprimanded once again.

“You’re straying from your duties, Professor Foley.” The older man regarded him through his square glasses. “The boy is causing trouble and yet you haven’t contacted his parents yet. I suggest you quickly act on the matter, or else I will act on the matter of your position in this school.”

Acid slithered into Ralph’s insides at the words of the old man. He slightly tightened his fists, sensing his anxiety grasping at his limbs. That was one of the gravest problems that he had feared it would eventually emerge. He swallowed the knot in his throat and replied, seemingly composed.

“Of course, sir. I will contact them as soon as possible.”

When he exited the room, he had to lean against the wall, to regain his senses. Terror and panic swirled inside him in a dangerous maelstrom, his breath quickened and his clothes were already damp with sweat. He tremulously found his way to his own dormitory and swallowed more medication than the daily dose he had been recommended. He was having a panic attack again and so he lay down a bit, breathing slowly and deeply; trying to block the images that flitted behind his eyelids, one Jack Merridew after the other.

He didn’t appear in front of Ralph in the shape of an adult. It was impossible for the fair-haired man to imagine what he would look like. He was most surely an entirely different person now, not a little ginger prat, but he couldn’t envision him. From the way Ralph remembered his son had spoken about him, it seemed as if he had kept some of his childhood traits. Such as his destructive anger issues, which were the main cause for the separation of the family.

 No, he was still the same savage to him. That red-haired child demon, with fire in his eyes, mud and blood on his face. This being, this entity still haunted Ralph’s nightmares, even after so much time, even at the age of twenty-eight. He was still utterly terrified of the image of a child, and it was absolutely preposterous, but his mind was in ruins.

Sometime later, when he thought he had recovered from the blow of the duty that was now hanging onto his shoulders – to some other normal teacher, it wouldn’t have been much of a duty, but to Ralph it was like he had been assigned to climb the top of the highest volcano, retrieve the nonexistent magic ring and return in one piece- he decided to have a serious conversation with David.

The boy was thoroughly upset.

“I haven't done anything wrong in the beginning, and yet they punished me!” He retorted, red face twisted in resentment and some vague sense of betrayal, his small hands gesticulating in all directions. “I know I got revenge on that little prat, but he deserved it. He tattled on me, and I didn't do anything wrong! I just teased him! That’s why I’ve left a dead animal in his room! To teach him lesson!” He fumed, blue eyes glaring daggers into Ralph’s forehead.

The fair man sighed, not knowing how to respond to this. The boy slightly softened. An unknown fear suddenly flickered in his gaze and his frown faded, his features now plagued by intense conflict, even dread.

“Please do not call my father, I beg you, Professor Foley.” His small hand grabbed at the edge of his shirt and Ralph slightly jumped at the intrusion. The boy looked up at him, furious and scared and pleading, and Ralph gazed at him, bewildered for a moment. Had this boy been maltreated by his father? It wouldn’t have surprised Ralph. He had to inform himself more on the matter.

 He released a heavy breath and rested a gentle hand on the mop of red hair at the top of his head.

“I think we want the same thing, Mr. Merridew. I think we want the same thing.”

…

The boy’s mother surprised Ralph, but then again, nothing in that family ever didn’t surprise him. She was very much gentle and kind and had a soft way of speaking. She only slightly reprimanded David and patiently listened to all the sides of the story, before she took the decision that she would call the victimized boy’s family to apologize. And that David had to do the same.

There were slight protestations from the boy’s side, but he eventually yielded to his mother. Ralph could see that the boy had a very deep respect and affection for her, which he hadn’t expected. He knew the boy was more normal than his father had ever been, but he still couldn’t completely get used to this difference, due to their uncanny resemblance.

The mother, who went by the name of Rowan Barlow, former Merridew, departed from them in the most compassionate manner, leaving them in high spirits. The boy had a good disposition for the rest of the following days, and Ralph had to admit that he was feeling content, even upbeat himself. He still couldn’t believe that a woman of that kind had been convinced into marriage with someone like Jack Merridew.  

The flow of events regained its regular course and Ralph’s anxiety levels reached a new low. While he had been quite on the edge in the last few weeks due to the new class of pupils that had been assigned to him – or more specifically, due to one particular student that had ended up being under his guidance and ridiculously affected him - he was now in a much better mood. Lessons passed without other unfortunate events and the Merridew child eventually faded into the group. Ralph could say he had even gotten almost completely accustomed to the boy,  perhaps even a little fond of him. He always ended up getting attached to the children as if they were his own.

While he didn’t think he could ever reach the point where he would see David Merridew as someone dear to him, not like he had seen some of his other pupils during his years of teaching, the boy was truly captivating and one could not ignore the fact it wasn’t difficult to get drawn to his charisma.

The previous reactions of the boy still haunted the fair-haired man though. How the Merridew child had acted as if his father had maltreated him. He tried to let it pass, but his frenzied mind had always been a bother and the dark thoughts just popped up when he least expected it. He tried to dismiss them as irrational paranoia, but he was aware deep down that the older Merridew had a history of criminal behaviour.

He tried not to remember anything connected to the events on the island, but the still bright and vivid images returned, once again. He didn’t know if Merridew’s acts on the island had been revealed at the time, but given Merridew’s proneness to lie and manipulate and not give the slightest damn about his misdeeds, he was seriously doubting that Merridew had eventually told the truth and undergone psychological counselling. Merridew just wouldn’t have considered that he needed such a therapy, since he had never seen himself as having any particular fault.

In a few words, Merridew was most certainly a sociopath and a sociopath’s criminal record never truly reached its end, whether they directly murdered someone, or just morally destroyed the lives of those around them through their callous treatment of people.  Merridew was definitely the type of person who was more than capable of abusing his family.

Still Ralph didn’t temporarily take any course of action in this direction. He had to have proof before accusing even people that he knew to be monstrous of any specific delicts.

He had to have the confirmation from the boy himself.

Ralph didn’t approach the boy on his own. He let life guide them until they found themselves more personally interacting in one day. Ralph remained pleasantly surprised when he concluded that the Merridew boy already considered him familiar enough to take the initiative and visit him in order to show him a crumpled paper that he had scratched the verses of a song on. The song had just a couple of notes and a few lines that rhymed, but it was still an achievement, especially for a child of his age. This was disturbing and marvelously baffling at the same time for the fair man, since it was both another reminiscence of his father and plus to the boy’s capabilities.

Sooner or later, he subtly managed to bring his father into discussion. The boy just didn’t seem to be particularly affected by the subject. He appeared to have some sort of reticence, most likely due to his deep respect and veneration for his father, but other than that, he simply disproved every negative concept that Ralph had had until then regarding their familial relationship.

“Has he ever…touched you in a bad manner?” The fair-haired man inquired, trying to diminish the gravity of the act through softer and more appropriate words. The boy narrowed his eyes in thought for a few moments, before he vigorously shook his head. “Improperly frightened you then?” Ralph insisted. The boy remained silent again, brow furrowed in contemplation.

“Well, he was frightening at times indeed, especially when he got furious with my mum or me,” He tentatively retorted, “But then he always stormed out the door and left us for days, even weeks at times. He also destroyed a few of the things in the house.” He snorted, as if the situation partly amused him. “One time, he took a chair and smashed it against the wall.“ He paused, still trying to remember. Given the boy’s age and his perception of things, Ralph doubted he knew how to make considerable differences between what was ethical and moral and what was not. The boy seemed to be morally ambiguous himself, since he was somewhat amused by such destructive behaviour, and Ralph felt the lead in his stomach weighing again at the realization that he might have been wrong. The child could have turned out like his father at a latter age.   

“Oh, and he also smashed the car’s windows once-“

Ralph had enough. The child’s words and memories apparently weren’t going to help much in this situation. He was possibly even bluffing or downright rejecting his previous negative experiences tied to his father and didn’t probably see them as distressing. He gently placed his hand on the small boy’s shoulder to stop his rant.

“Alright, David. You can go now.”

The boy smiled widely.

“So, will I be part of the choir? I do have many talents in this area, you know. Besides writing, I can also sing and easily read music sheets.”

The fair-haired man nodded. “Of course. I will talk to Professor Thatcher about your musical skills. She will be more than glad to receive you.”

The child pumped his fist in the air, then jumped enthusiastically, and Ralph froze in shock when he suddenly felt two skinny arms tightening around his waist. That was something that the old Merridew would have never done and he hated himself for comparing them in that moment, instead of simply sharing the boy’s happiness.

“That is the best decision, Professor. After all, I truly am an ace!”

This, however, was something that Jack Merridew would have definitely said.


End file.
